Decoding Women

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.”

A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right, Presenting below the 13 things women say but its a man’s duty to decode it perfectly before reacting or else might end up with a broken nose or chances of being thrown out of the house..

 

 

13. Do I look fat in this?

shutterstock_62264683A better translation would be “Do you think I’m ugly?” and the answer is categorically “no”.

 

 

 

12. It would be nice if…

Young woman with finger in mouth, close-up, studio shot

Everything following the “if” is meant to be interpreted as an unconditional order.

 

 

11. Are you listening?

eye-rollingYou are not listening. There is no way to recover from this.

 

 

10. It’s up to you

Anti-Rape-FaceIf you think this means you have freedom to choose then you are very, very mistaken. A much better translation would be “It’s up to you…to select the right choice which I know but I am not going to tell you because you should know.” Making the wrong choice will usually result in an “It’s okay

 

 

 

9. 5 minutes

Adlandpro_bogdan_fiedur_-talk_to_the_hand_affiliat_marketingThis depends on context. If she is getting dressed then it is most likely somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes. If you are watching TV then it is closer to 0 minutes. As in “why are you watching TV right now when you should be doing something productive?”

 

 

 

8. Don’t worry about it

An-annoyed-and-frustrated-woman-via-ShutterstockThis means she has told you to do something (possibly more than once) and she is now going to do it herself. Any further inquiries on your part will most likely result in(*loud sigh*).

 

 

 

7. We can go anywhere you want

111758785_d1In most cases this means “You had better choose my favorite restaurant”.

 

 

 

6. We need to talk

signs-he-only-wants-one-thing263997866-sep-13-2012-1-600x400You’re dead.

 

 

 

5. What are you doing?

man-annoyedThis is actually not a question. It’s a statement akin to “You’re doing it wrong.”

 

 

 

4. Do you have to do this now?

1409304901Also not a question. It means stop doing what you’re doing and prepare for further orders.

 

 

3. You have to learn to communicate

annoying-habits-of-girlfriend-1“Communicate” can also be translated as “agree with me”.

 

 

 

2. I’m not upset

istock_000000622611small-annoyed-womanShe’s upset

 

 

1. I don’t want to talk about it

1369381528_11403She wants you to go away because she is still building up evidence against you.

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